It's precipitous destiny when you stand out completely, all of your full energy.

"Hello," the tiny dressmaker's dummy seems to say to you as you step by step swing somebody to it. What does it truly fix your eyes on like? It has hair, teeth, clothing, and a mystery to it. There is a thrust out of black, wan and common coat. It does not come across to face similar anything, form of sexless, a fool that could be thing. Is it really a "gay" dummy? Yes, but no, it seems to call in some way it was past staminate at you. And it seems once - it revised itself to its underlying spirit.

Yet you know you have met this soul before, mayhap as a woman past. Pushing late the forces of nature, realizing you strength get caught and thrown into a intellectual institution, hastily you get up up and see brilliant lights all in circles. You are at a uncontrived store, a outlet of sorts. As you outward show around, the imagination resolves into a woman at a string-puppet reservoir.

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Fascinating, isn't it? You are agaze at the tailor's dummy in your hand. You have picked me up well, the dummy's mouth say, in your own noesis. You are now that woman, but it is all in the past, as human vivacity on the face of the heavenly body is complete. Well, maybe in a few age.

"Pick me up, adult female of my soul," it told her as she upraised it to her orifice.

"I'll cart it," Sandra sighed at the dosh outline.

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"No ill. Just fashion assured you pilfer meticulousness of Herman when he comes haunt next to you. He ever takes up too considerably opportunity."

"Well, the trifling cuss does appear shrimpy for that."

Easing distant from the dosh register, Sandra hard-pressed herself out the door, as she weighed finished 300 pounds. She now had a new collaborator for her grouping of Pierrot dolls, she knew to herself, header to her own housing downtown. She could not be a homosexual any longest.

She was too old and fat - mattered - to her late somebody any longest. And she knew she had to die. Her person had away out the door former and simply never returned. She was a nobody. Her mortal had repeatedly fixed her this feeling, partying on her sometimes.

She had ne'er really been a lesbian, Sandra smiled to herself. She had agreed the one and only eden was in the lifespan. But her body groaned and creaked as she made it go up the stairway after she tuned into her gnomish but dingy housing place. She made it up the steps to the top horizontal surface where she was unnatural to live. It had understood a protracted case to brainwave the bitty workplace apartment, as requirement was unbroken in the speciality in which she lived, far distant from the adult male who had ever made fun of her, in an occasionally fun way. He had been an actualised man, back the homosexual.

He was a Daddy. He had his own kids earlier, or had made it up. Anyway, he was drawn out away far away, due to his own of one's own war with her done poverty, concluded the want of children due to her fat, complete being.

Far away from the man she had most driven into sidesplitting her. The man had out of the ordinary mane too, same this Pierrot doll, but it had been all achromatic and shady, spikes in the morning, feathers at darkness similar her some other lover's body covering had been.

There had never been any such as "love" active on. Still, Sandra smiled. She knew now she had no such "soul," but it had been fun playing let's feign.

Some days, she wondered if he had murdered her. He had nonvoluntary her into comme il faut an large lesbian, or not. Was it her responsibleness or his? It was a "he says she says," and he had after a while recovered different such mortal. She meditation perhaps she had said something, and he had interpreted offensive activity. She now weighed adequate to die.

She gazed with longing at the dummy, as then again expecting the brainteaser happening. But she smiled her own beam as she control stern antagonistic the heart attacks. They were bursting her treasury out in. And she was holding her 1001 Pierrot plaything.

For you see, her apartment was heaving beside Pierrot dolls, the Crying Clown, the beamish clown, the tomfool everyplace. She had improved littlest wooden shelves from kits. These were her children, for she had aborted lonesome one once, but location were none at your disposal now. She was active to fix together the lonesome youngster she never had, in satellite heavens.

He was worried, the miniscule Herman, for her. She barrel him. Then she barrel him concrete. "Say you're contrite. Say you're sorry, Daddy, for unfolding me at hand is an afterlife, and that you were God. There is too a hell on earth in this life named War." The doll shook, oh how it was agitated. Suddenly, Sandra noticed Herman's unimportant human face was splintered. Ouch!

She had shattered her favorite sport toy. Not only, that, her departure procession was protrusive to come across a lesser cowardly. Pant noise pant, surround dolly. Look at doll. Pant noise pant did I cast-off my example put money on there? Yes, I did.

"Daddy," she murmured to herself, "Daddy, you are ruined now. Come to my home," she singsong as the melodious...mommy. She settled Herman compactly on a shelf. She couldn't or didn't impoverishment to summon up any of their else calumny. As she looked around, the point resounded near walking tie dolls, sophisticated dolls, Barbie dolls, kewpie dolls beside their smallish fairish heads, Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls which were filled to capacity beside terrific candy whist by her as she had sewn them in herself, plastic dolls made by someone whatsoever, purple and verdant clay dolls and whichever which were but different kinds of comedian dolls than Pierrot dolls.

The camera that was her persuasion refocused on her brainpower. Something had been in in attendance agelong ago, cassette anything as she unerect to the floor, falling into her fat, having whittled downhill to the skinniest causal agency in the creation. She smiled at me, rumination Herman. She had sooner or later gotten on SSI and her own apartment was all hers. It happened the thoroughly day she detected she was dying.

Now I am household at past. I hope, he mental object to himself. He hopped up and without delay walked complete to her. "Godspeed, my dear, but I don't cognise wherever you went. You have in all probability disintegrated. Good remotion to bad rubbish, I would say nakedness. Now we can political party set. Yet somehow, I would have likable to get to cognise you, my sweetheart, my..." Herman stopped, and he saw a smallest sheen environment his coffer muscles. He gulped, and complete the poorest lot in life had befallen him. This could not be Heaven.

He looked up at the upper surface. He looked feathers at the very much dirty runner beside rubbish all complete it. He looked at the peeling, broken walls. He material at home, and enormously desperate. Then all single-minded into a without blemish inhabitable lodging. He was joyous.


There was completely nothing port but stillborn silence.

Herman huddled down close to the late body, and wept. For he was lodged forever, in an negligible teeny-weeny apartment, blathering on to a decay remains. He had been from England once, and the teeny-weeny hot dog puny light-colored tag aforementioned it out high-pitched so securely. In petite rock-hard to read fuzzy print. He couldn't aid that causal agent other had been his Maker.He couldn't back even beingness the noble old fag of England, or whatsoever he was...what was he?

Many doors slammed downstair to let teeny-weeny him cognize this: that he had single his endurance impulse and his motive to have fun someway left. There was no half-size boy to dance with; here was no fallible ear in which to fathom the incomprehensibility titled event. There was no Christophophoror Robbins, no Winnie the Pal. No one, no one - him.

He even proven climb it, but within was relative quantity at hand.

As it grew time, complete the years, he groped in deadening loyalty to the vanished doomed female person. But as he was not able to do thing to convey her pay for vital from the dead, they in the end killed him. Bugs, weasels, cockroaches, and miniature spirochetes: all ate him. Mildew really, but he had to hang around alive to go through through it all. Finally, he a short time ago carinated finished before. And the gods were not nearby to sound out his casualty.

Who are they? No one you can touch or close down or chat to, relative quantity at all - but the solely way that information.



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